Sunshine

The last few weeks I found myself in a bit of a funk. At one point, it really did seem like the end of everything. Anything I touched seemed to turn to dust (and Midas thought he had it rough). It seems like we all go through these periods where we're perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop, that happiness is fleeting at best and it's stupid to hope for more. We swallow the pain like a pill and wash it down with a less than healthy dose of apathy.

But no matter what we tell ourselves, it doesn't last forever. The sun comes out again and chases the clouds away. And even if it only lasts for an hour, the sunshine is still there to savor, and those moments of bliss make all the shit we go through worth it. Unfortunately, if you're like me you often spend the entire time worrying about the other shoe that's about to drop and miss out on the sunshine.

I finally had my ray of sunshine break through the gray this past weekend. I'd been struggling the last few weeks with my latest endeavors, but particularly with my truck driver training. I was struggling so hard, in fact, that I was beginning to doubt the wisdom of the decision to even sign up for classes. Friday night I couldn't sleep. I spent the entire night worrying about class the next day and how I was going to deal with an instructor that had seemed to hint that he didn't think I was cut out for driving eighteen wheelers. Or much of anything else.

Saturday morning eventually rolled around. And you know what? All the worry was for nothing. Sunday I went in and did every maneuver I had struggled with. I also fell out of the truck (what did I say about the other shoe?) but that is another story. In the end, however, it was the reassurance I needed to realize that not everything I do is pointless. It won't all turn to dust.

The old saying holds true: practice makes perfect. Try, and try again. And that isn't just alley-dock and parallel parking maneuvers. That's life. So you're last relationship went south (as mine did). Or maybe you lost that last job (ouch). You felt like it was the end of the world (like I did). Okay. Did you learn anything from it? Did you learn something about what kind of man you're looking for? How about yourself? Did you learn anything about how you react to situations? How about what you want out of life? Do you realize you're stronger than you thought?

Everything is a learning curve. Sometimes we get lucky when we pick up that instrument and we hit the right notes the first time, but more often than not it takes weeks before we can wheeze a tune out.

I guess the hard part is when we get right into the middle of what feels like our biggest failure to date, not loosing sight of the big picture. We too often forget that there's always tomorrow, and it isn't going to go away just because we feel sorry for ourselves. So pick up that instrument. Get back in that truck. Get a better man. Find something new to try. Banish those clouds. But don't write yourself off or sell yourself short. No matter how old or young you are, there's still a whole lot of life yet to live.


Oh, and since Kiera has started this songs to go with the theme of our posts, here's the song that came to my mind while I was writing this. I was going to link to their official video, but upon watching it, it was just too weird.